Welcome to Balanced living for Moms (Me in Mom-Me) I am Jill Kroog, Chief Mom at Balanced Living for moms and the Executive Director of the Mother Matters Foundation.

I am married to a wonderful man (7 years in August), we have 2 energetic, adventurous young boys, Monkey Man, 4 and Boo Boo Chicken, 20 months (I’ll explain the names later), 2 devious little puppies and 1 old dog.

I am an entrepreneur at heart and have run businesses for 12 years. I am the executive director of Mother Matters and I spend time working at Balanced Living for Moms as well as a stay at home mom to my 2 boys, puppies and dog.

My husband is used to my wide range of business interests and supports me, our family and my work. I work from home and have found that balance is the key to my success as a mom; although, it was not always that way.

While pregnant, we decided that we would be different; our son would be an addition to our lives and not a distraction pulling us from our chosen activities. Thrilled and excited about his birth we prepared our home and lives for his arrival, or so we thought.

I am not sure that any amount of preparation can prepare you for the life changing experience a newborn brings. It is wonderful, full of love but overwhelming at times.

Within a few weeks, I experienced a shift in myself and my focus. Let’s face it, hormones are flying, sleep is a distant memory, and getting used to a baby is time consuming. I was thrilled with my son, loved him beyond belief and yet felt as though something was missing. I longed for my old life filled with spontaneity; yet, loved being a mom and caring for my newborn son. It was confusing and could become consuming if left to continue.

Call it the baby blues or mild hormonal depression, I was mourning my independence. I would not give up morphing into the woman, mom and person I am today but it was a tough road that got me to where I am today.

A few months of conflicting feelings were a small price to pay for the balance that I feel today. I took charge of my life, creating a balance within me – my goals, dreams, ambitions, family and career. By choice and the support of my family, I continue to be a mom, wife and work driven woman, maintaining goals and dreams for my future and the future of my family.

The path of motherhood took an unfortunate turn when our second pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks. I learned how common a miscarriage is and turned to my friends and family to survive the deep sense of loss prior to trying again. Six months later we were pregnant again and 2-1/2 years after our first son, we gave birth to another happy, healthy baby boy.

Shortly after having my second son, I founded and became the executive director of the Mother Matters Foundation, http://www.mother-matters.com/, where moms find support, community and self empowerment. It was important for me to help moms feel successful.

I write, speak, coach and teach under the name Balanced Living for Moms, http://www.balancedlivingformoms.com/, and am active with multiple moms groups around the nation. I help set up, facilitate and provide classes and information to those groups.

I am a published author of the pregnancy journal, I Love You, I Love Me. My second book, Making Time for Me, is on the way and should be available soon. Both journals are designed to help the reader connect with herself and create a blueprint for her own happiness as a mother, role model and woman.

Every day offers an opportunity for us to learn from each other; we all make mistakes, have successes and grow together. I will chronicle my parenting adventures, provide insights for useful products, and talk about motherhood, kids and more.

I look forward to sharing my stories, insights and family photos. Please do the same as we build a community full of moms helping each other through the joys and turmoil of motherhood.

Off to find some balance and make the most of motherhood, because every Mother Matters!

The following is a post that I wrote today for ePregnancy. I seldom link my posts but felt so strongly about the information that I wanted to share it with you.

I believe that moms are empowered by community. The power that comes from being heard is the reason that I support moms groups and online communities. Whether online, like ePregnancy, or in person, like mommy and me groups, the feeling and validation that come from community help moms get through the tough days and enjoy the great ones.

Motherhood can be difficult and it feels like a full time job, 24 hours a day. Through talking, bonding and relating with each other we can relish in the happiness that comes from being understood.

After all, knowing that we are not alone somehow makes the hard times easier and being able to relate to each other helps us grow stronger.

I hope that you enjoy the post.

Go to: http://www.epregnancy.com/Community/blogs/mommy_milestones/archive/2008/07/23/community-of-moms.aspx

I have blogged about many other topics on Mommy Milestones, posted pictures and shared stories. Please go to ePregnancy, check out the community and find a place to feel at home.

Good luck on your journey, I ‘ll keep you posted on mine!
_________________________________________
Post 7-23-08 — Community of Moms

As I play at the playground with my boys, I hear stories about the love, appreciation, regrets and guilt that moms feel throughout motherhood. I hear two moms talking as they support each other from two different perspectives.

One woman is taking the day off from work to spend time with her son. She needs to work for financial reasons but often regrets the time that she misses with her son. He is now going into first grade and she says that she feels like she has missed so much.

The other woman stays home with her daughter and expresses guilt that she misses going into an office for work. She thinks that she should be grateful for the time that they have together and yet misses her work friends and lifestyle. She complains about the guilty feeling and regret but truly loves her daughter and wishes that there was something more that she could do to feel better about herself.

As I listen to them talk I quietly understand that the simple gesture of talking and listening helps a mom feel validated and understood. These moms are community, standing on a playground, loving their children and bonding.

Moms have a common thread; we are first and foremost a mother. We think about our child when we are with them and think about them even more when we are away from them. Moms question our decisions because they impact the lives of our children. We want what is best for our child and family, and tend to sacrifice our own needs for the needs and well being of others.

I am not for moms’ giving so much that they forget to fulfill their own needs and desires in the process, but understand how it can happen.

I believe that a mom deserves the praise and appreciation of her family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors because no decision that a mom makes is made lightly. There is always the thought in the back of our mind how this will affect our child, family, and their happiness.

Motherhood has never been easy; it has always been a full time job. Some moms have strong opinions on raising children and voice them at the expense of other moms. In my opinion a mom never stops being a mom; we are moms at home, at work, in the car, at the store, etc.

It is discouraging to hear moms at odds with each other. At the end of the day we are a community that needs to support each other, understand and encourage our decisions and work together to raise strong, capable children that know how to love and honor each other.

Maintaining balance or at least harmony in life and showing our kids how to do the same is one of the hardest things for a mother to do. Guilt and regret serve no one and weigh on decisions, family and happiness.

Moms know that motherhood is rewarding in ways beyond words of praise and recognition. Words are few and far between but the feeling of personal satisfaction runs deep, knowing that our children and families are cared for, happy and thriving.

People often notice the pile of laundry but never mention the neatly folded clothes in the drawers. They see the dishes in the sink or the spots on the mirror but seldom comment on the home cooked meal or fully stocked refrigerator. Let alone the hours of support given to help a child become an honor student, the hours supporting practice and games, music lessons, ballet, math camp, contributing to the PTA, driving for field trips, and baking cookies for the girl scout meeting.

It goes without saying that a mom’s job is never done; there is always a toy to pick up, a skinned knee to kiss, a late night waiting for a child to come home from a first dance, or even standing in the delivery room as our baby has a baby. Even when our children are grown, a mom is still a mom, thinking and hoping for the happiness of our child.

As my children grow into the people they will become, I honor them and those who support me along the way. For the moments of sharing, listening and supporting in ways that seem so simple at the time, thank you!

I am grateful for moms everywhere!

You are doing a GREAT job!

Stop worrying about tomorrow and enjoy today. Know that your choices are made from your heart and that no matter what, you made them with love.

Smile at another mom, tell her “Great Job” and support each other. If we don’t, who will?

We are a community of moms who need each other, deserve to feel good about our choices and not look back; only our future and the future that we are creating with and for our children deserve our attention.

I am proud to be a part of the community of mothers everywhere and I am proud of you!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

The media has recently brought up another issue with respect to body image. Some of the entertainment industry is focused on thin or fat rather than healthy or sick. In this case, fat or pregnant. The question that I have today is how does this affect us in terms of maintaining balance.

Body image is a huge concern for women, moms and especially with respect to our young girls and teens. Media has such an influence on what we see, read and value in our society. Balancing what we have in our lives and what we are exposed to might just be the key.

I think that the idea of balance looks different depending on your level of normalcy. Most of us get the luxury of making our decisions with real world expectations. However, someone in the “Lime Light” may not have that same ability. I am grateful for the fact that I am just a woman, wife, mom, friend, teacher, and basic everyday person. I have the ability to create balance and make choices with limited exposure or judgement. The level of balance that I, and other everyday moms, can achieve is our choice. We can take what we see, read, hear and experience and make a personal decision about what to do with that. I believe that a sense of balance and feeling of balance come from making those choices, being empowered in our own lives and being supported by our family and friends.

The following is a post from my personal blog. I felt strongly about it, felt that it was related to women and balance, and decided to share it here as well.

 __________

I was recently asked by ABC News about Lisa Marie Presley’s situation. As those of you probably know, I do have an opinion. 

“Normal” women can make their own decision on when to announce or not to announce a pregnancy. I know that I would be very upset to hear people talking about my weight gain, especially if I were pregnant and trying to keep it personal. So, with that said, here is the article with my comments. My comments are in bold.

Pregnant or Piling on the Pounds?

Story Presley: Not Happy to Announce Pregnancy

By EMILY FRIEDMAN
March 11, 2008

Accused by the tabloids of “piling on the pounds” and taking up her late father’s unhealthy lifestyle, Lisa Marie Presley is pushing back, confirming her third pregnancy and berating the media for prying into her private life.”After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant,” Presley wrote in a blog entry entitled “Confirmation under the gun” March 6. Presley, who says she’s “mortified,” wrote, “It is unfortunate that I couldn’t have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances.”

But did the media really ruin a typically private moment for 40-year-old Presley, or does the fact that her father is Elvis Presley and her ex-husbands include Michael Jackson and Nicholas Cage make any pregnancy speculation fair game?

Pregnancy and Tabloids

“It’s unfortunate how [Presley] was put in a position where she had to come out and confirm her pregnancy,” said PR guru Lizzie Grubman. “She had to confirm it. To be name-called is downright mean and to then to be compared with her father. They scrutinized her entire family. You can’t blame her for wanting to set the record straight.”

Like Presley, Grubman was forced to confirm her pregnancy in 2006 after paparazzi photographed her rapidly gaining weight. Grubman told ABCNEWS.com that she gained 110 pounds during her pregnancy, more than twice the size of her typical 95-pound frame.
“You just never know what can happen to an unborn child — there’s a reason people try to keep pregnancies private,” said Grubman. “It’s obvious when celebrities are pregnant, so why are we pushing and pushing and prying and prying? There’s no reason for it.”
“Yes, she’s a public figure but guess what — it’s not about her, it’s about the unborn child,” added Grubman.While Presley declined to comment to ABCNEWS.com directly, her publicist Cindy Guagenti said that her client was treated unfairly.

“They were saying she was going to die because she was overweight like her dad,” said Guagenti, who confirmed Presley is due in the fall. “They took something that should have been a really joyous private situation and made it all ugly.”

Presley, in addition to her scathing blog entry, is also planning to sue London newspaper The Daily Mail for libel, said Guagenti, who described the singer as a fairly private person who had yet to decide whether she’d confirm her pregnancy.

Presley has two children with ex-husband Danny Keough. Her current husband is music producer Micheal Lockwood.

Jill Kroog, mother and founder of parenting Web site Mother Matters, told ABCNEWS.com that Presley had every right to be offended by the media’s speculation — just as any other noncelebrity woman would.”Not only should [Presley] have the right to announce her pregnancy on her own time line, but I think that any woman, famous or not, would be upset by the innuendo,” said Kroog, who told ABCNEWS.com that she had a miscarriage between her two sons and was apprehensive to announce her own pregnancy.

“Timing of the announcement is exciting and meant for family and friends. It is sad that her happy news had to come from such negative media attention,” said Kroog.

For Celebs, ‘Fat’ Label Stings
Presley may be angry about confirming her pregnancy, but chances are she was more upset about the embarrassing photograph tagged with headlines calling her fat and bloated.
Wrote the Daily Mail: “Like father like daughter? Bloated Lisa Marie is now the double of dad Elvis.”

“Women can be anything these days except for fat,” said Debbie Then, a social psychologist who specializes in women and appearances. “Being overweight is social death for women and they want to give another reason for it whenever they can.”

Midge Wilson, a professor of psychology and women’s studies at DePaul University in Chicago, told ABCNEWS.com that when you’re a celebrity, anything is better than being fat.

“Pregnancy is like your get-out-of-jail-free card — you can be fat,” said Wilson, who focuses on women and physical attractiveness. “One of the worst things you can be accused of … is [being] fat and out of shape.”

“It’s better to reveal something that might be very personal that you might not be prepared to disclose to the public than be fat,” said Wilson.

Balance? What do you mean by balance? I get the kids up, fed and to school with a lunch. Then I go shopping for food, pick up the mess left from last night, start a load of laundry and drive back to pick up the kids from school. Is that balance? It’s all done, until tomorrow.

Sound familiar?

With all of the hats that a mom has to wear it is hard to know what true balance looks like. I suggest that today you take the definition of balance and tweak it a bit. Today balance means: Making time for me in terms of mind, body and spirit.

Today, do something, no matter how small, that feeds your mind, body and spirit. It is amazing how adding a little balance to your life can make such a profound difference in your quality of life. Start by taking a few minutes to meditate, breathe deeply or read. Eat a healthy meal or take a short walk.

Adding these simple things can start you on your way to feeling a sense of balance in your otherwise crazy day.

 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Today I choose to be happy.

Today I choose to live for me.

Today I choose to live for my family.  

Today I choose to be more fully “there” for my family than I have been before.

 

How?

 

Today I choose to take care of Me, First!

 

Today I choose to put on my oxygen mask before others.

Today I choose to full my cup to overflowing and overflow into the cups of my family. I now know that the more fulfilled I am, the more I can fulfill the needs of my family. If my cup does not run over, I am emptying me to fill them. That doesn’t serve any of us. What happens when I am totally empty and have nothing left to give.

 

No! I choose to fill me up so that I can be there for me and my family. I owe it to myself and to my family to be fully in the truth and essence of me.

 

I Love You! I Love Me! Therefore, I choose to be Me!

 A reminder of the importance of staying grounded in the core of who you are. You and your family deserve it!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!